”How about this one, all you have to do is lift the phone: volunteers from the Roundabout Theater wake you up in the afternoon for a donation. “That would be nice,” I said, “But it’s still painful for me to get out.” My mood softened at this heart-warming spectacle. Delayed Motherhood clogs up the aisle with her screaming twins to determine which Greek yogurt has the highest acidophilus count? You wait till you get a good size crowd behind her and then you say, very loudly, “Apparently you think that the supermarket aisles should be cleared whenever you and your cryogenic hatchlings honor us with your presence, but I happen to have an extremely bad back and I cannot stand here all day while you inconvenience the entire neighborhood.” “You ever see one of those old girls in a face-off with a double stroller in a narrow New York City supermarket aisle? Say when Little Ms. “Old ladies who are crazy like a fox,” the Dybbuk said. “I’ve always seen them as a symbol of decrepit old ladyhood.” Get out there with one of those wheely shopping carts and wreak a little revenge.” I’m just saying, you’re in pain, work it. And I’ve seen more character development at the cheese counter of Whole Foods.”
“I do feel a little bad about that," I said, “But I paid full price for those tickets and they were not cheap. A person isn’t responsible for what she dreams.” “I did rack up a hell of a score,” I said. Remember your dream last night? The way you had that hockey stick in your hand and you were whacking the skateboarders and bike messengers and laughing your head off as they came zooming at you like you were in some retro pinball game and every time you slammed one, the bells went off.” But these back spasms are killing me and diazepam is supposed to be a muscle relaxant. “I knew I shouldn’t have mixed it with the diazepam. “This has got to be the hydrocodone talking,” I said. Some of those old writers who nobody’s mentioned for years are feeling pretty damn nasty.” I’ve sometimes thought we should put together a league: Hebrew Home for the Aged vs. Why do you think all those old people are constantly heaving bed-pans? Some of them have a hell of an arm, too. It makes you rotten, ill-tempered and cranky. “Pain, despite what you see in the movies, does not turn one into a sweet-tempered, back-lit, beneficent little angel puss with an appreciation of the important things in life. “Oh, Joycie, how many times have we been through this,” the Dybbuk said, settling down near me on the couch and giving me a playful jab with her five-inch stilettos between discs L2-元. “I thought I had banished you from my life forever.”